Thanksgiving

 

1. “Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times (of football games) take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.” Erma Bombeck.

2. “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” Irv Kupcinet.

3. “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” Kevin James.

4. “My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at our house is a time of sorrow.” Rita Rudner.

5. “I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.” Arnold Schwarzenegger.

6. “My cooking was so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” Phyllis Diller.

7. “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” Jay Leno.

8. “We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” George Carlin.

9. “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then (they) discover once a year is way too often.” Johnny Carson.

10. “I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.” Craig Ferguson.

11. “Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to count our blessings. Suddenly, so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are.” Joyce Giraud.

12. “I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.” Henry David Thoreau.

13. “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast-the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” Michael Dresser.

14. “If the only prayer you said in your life was ‘Thank you,’ that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart.

15. “In this spirit, Thanksgiving has become a day when Americans extend a helping hand to the less fortunate. Long before there was a government welfare program, this spirit of voluntary giving was ingrained in the American character. Americans have always understood that, truly, one must give to receive. This should be a day of giving as well as a day of thanks.” Ronald Reagan.

16. “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” John F. Kennedy.

17. “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” Willie Nelson.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?

ANSWER: You get lots and lots of drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

ENJOY THE DAY AND COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!