At the Restaurant

Sometimes it’s fun to just be silly. That is the case with this blog. Ron and Mark, on their way to a high school basketball game, stopped for lunch at “The Leaky Bucket,” a pub located near the gymnasium:

Waiter (after the two gentlemen are seated): May I help you?

Mark: Yes; do you serve crabs?

Waiter: Sir, we’ll serve anyone who has enough money to pay the bill.

Mark: Very funny! I’ll have a steak, peas, potato soup, and black coffee.

Waiter: And the vegetable?

Mark (grinning at Ron): You’ll have to ask him yourself.

Ron: Very funny! I’ll have the chicken pot pie, some sausages, and black coffee.

In about ten minutes the waiter returns with some of the food:

Ron (after tasting the chicken pot pie): Hey! There’s no chicken in this!

Waiter: So what? Do you expect to find a “dog” in a dog biscuit?

Mark: This coffee tastes like mud!

Waiter: That’s no surprise! Just this morning it was ground!

Ron (looking at his watch): Waiter, how long will my sausages be?

Waiter: I’d say about three or four inches.

Waiter (to Mark): Sir, how do you find your steak?

Mark: Easy; I just brush aside a few peas and there it is.

Waiter: Is there anything else, sir?

Mark: Yeah. What’s that fly doing in my soup?

Waiter (Looking carefully into the bowl): I would say he’s doing the backstroke, sir.

Ron: This food isn’t fit for pigs!

Waiter: Then let me take it back and I’ll find something that is!

The clumsy waiter then trips and drops most of the food on Ron’s lap.

Waiter: I’m terribly sorry, sir! Oh well, at least your friend will eat for free.

Ron: Why’s that?

Waiter: Well, it looks to me like this meal’s on you!

Waiter (after cleaning up the mess): This is a first-class joint; we have entertainment. Here’s Joe on the piano.

The piano player is awful, to say the least. After listening for about ten minutes the two gentlemen can take no more:

Ron(walking over to the piano player): Don’t you know how to be quiet?

Piano player: Heck no, man, but if you hum a few bars, I’ll pick it up.

Waiter (now with a raspy voice): Would you gentlemen like some ice cream for dessert? We have vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate.

Mark: Do you have laryngitis?

Waiter: No, just vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate.

Mark:(after looking through a nearby window, watching the chef roll pizza dough on his fat, hairy stomach): That’s disgusting!

Waiter: That’s nothing! You should have seen how he thawed your steak; he held it under his armpit for fifteen minutes.

Ron and Mark still go to many basketball games, but now they pack their own lunches.