What They Say About Golf

• “I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.” G. K. Chesterton

• “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” Mark Twain

• “I don't want to play golf. When I hit the ball, I want someone else to go chase it.” Rogers Hornsby (baseball player)

• “It's not hard to keep your ball in the fairway, so long as you're not picky about which fairway.” Unknown

• “The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf.” St. Andrews Rotary Club Member

• “They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.” Gardner Dickinson

• “If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.” Dean Martin

• “They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.” Raymond Floyd

• “Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.” Dave Berry

• “Sex and golf are two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.” Kevin Costner

• “Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five.” Paul Harvey

• “If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.” Sam Snead

• “I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators.” Gerald R. Ford

• “Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well.” Craig Stadler

• “It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.” Hank Aaron

• “If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” Jack Lemmon

• “Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.” Winston Churchill

• “I have a tip that will take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.” Arnold Palmer

• “Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.” Winston Churchill

• “Golf, like measles, should be caught young, for if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.” P G Wodehouse

• “It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.” Mark Twain.

• “Golf gives you insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's. Grantland Rice

• My golf partner said I should yell “fore” before hitting the ball, not “twelve.” Actually, I was being overly optimistic that I'd get that infernal ball into the hole in twelve shots!