Cola Wars

As in politics, when it comes to soda pop many folks have their favorite brand and will have no other. My daughter-in-law, for example, who is one of the most wonderful people I know, loves Coke. To her “Pepsi” is a bad word. I doubt she has ever bought the “enemy's” soft drinks.

Contrarily, a teacher I know is a Pepsi man. Back in our teaching days, I saw him put away several soft drinks, and if I remember correctly, he never chose Coke.

My late father-in-law, Jack, also was a die-hard Pepsi man. A teetotaler, he once stated that alcohol had never touched his lips, and at least until a certain visit to a store, the same may have been said about his Coke consumption.

Whenever he came to our house for dinner, we made certain there were huge supplies of mustard, jelly, chocolate ice cream, assorted candies, popcorn, pickles, and, of course, Pepsi. (His awful eating choices probably led to his early death at the age of 90!)

My wife's maternal grandmother believed all soft drinks were evil, so she banned them from her house. One evening her husband and Jack went to a nearby grocery and purchased several bottles of pop. Upon arriving home they stuck those bottles in the freezer so the pop would get nice and cold.

When they retrieved the frozen bottles from the freezer and removed the caps, the soft drinks sprayed across the room and even blasted the ceiling! The missus was not very happy, to say the least!

Not to be deterred, Jack continued to drink Pepsi products regularly. True to his word, I never saw him touch an alcoholic beverage, but he probably carbonated himself from all the soft drinks he consumed over the years.

On what seemed like a typical day, Jack entered his favorite supermarket, no doubt to pick up a few essential items such as mustard, candy, pickles, and ice cream. However, this occasion was not going to be a typical one.

In one corner of the store, a couple young ladies were asking folks to participate in a blindfolded taste test. In this case, it was Pepsi vs. Coke. Jack agreed to take the test, knowing that he would always pick Pepsi, no matter if he was blindfolded or not.

After sampling the two products, he was certain which one tasted better: “I'd definitely buy drink A; it tastes so much better than the other stuff.”

“You have selected the Coke, sir,” one of the ladies told him.

Jack couldn't believe it. Had his taste buds somehow been deceived?

He probably should not have shared this story with his family, for we never let him forget it. Meanwhile, he continued to buy and consume Pepsi products.

Many years later, we invited Jack to come to our house for supper. While the roast was in the oven my wife took a quick inventory to make certain she had all the things her father loved. We had plenty of mustard, jelly, chocolate ice cream, candy, popcorn, and pickles, but no Pepsi!

“What am I going to do?” my distressed partner asked. “We are out of Pepsi!”

Always the practical one, I calmly replied: “No problem, dear. After he sits at the table, blindfold him and give him a glass of Coke.”

Did I ever tell you sometimes my wife lacks a sense of humor?