When did it Happen? A Quiz

**Dedicated to the memory of Dan Beebe, a noted historian and a friend.

1. When did Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin become the first human beings to land on the moon? A .March 30, 1966  B. July 4, 1970  C. July 20, 1969  D. December 1, 1977.

2. The first telephone was installed in the White House on A. May 10, 1877   B. July 4, 1880  C. October 7, 1890  D. January 1, 1900.

3. Rosa Parks was arrested for not moving to the back of the bus: A. November 1, 1950   B. October 3, 1953   C. July 4, 1954  D. December 1, 1955.

4. When did Prohibition officially end? A. August 7, 1958    B. December 5, 1933  C. December 25, 1939   D. October 11, 1942.

5. Japan bombed Pearl Harbor in Hawaii: A. December 25, 1938   B. December 1, 1939  C. December 2, 1940   D. December 7, 1941.

6. Bugs Bunny made his first public appearance: A. July 4, 1935 B. July 27, 1940  C. August 3, 1942  D. September 4, 1952.

7. Thurgood Marshall became the first black Supreme Court Justice: A. August 30, 1967   B. February 1, 1970   C. July 4, 1977  D. January 30, 1982.

8. George Washington was born in Westmoreland County, Virginia: A. February 7, 1599   B. February 22, 1729  C. February 22, 1732  D. February 9, 1740.

9. Babe Ruth retired as an active baseball player: A. June 2, 1935  B. April 1, 1938  C. May 7, 1940  D. July 7, 1944.

10. Beer was invented! A. 25,000 B. C.  B. 20,000-15,000 B. C.    C. 10,000-7,000 B. C.   D. 1492 A. D.

11. Fred W. Wolf invented the first electric refrigerator for home use in A. 1877  B. 1880  C. 1900  D. 1913.

12. When was the United States Postal Service created? A. 1776  B. 1780  C. 1788   D. 1792.

13. The first atomic bomb was exploded in New Mexico. When? A. July 16, 1939  B. July 16, 1942  C. July 16, 1945  D. July 16, 1946.

14. When did Amelia Earhart become the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean? A. March 30, 1932  B. April 1, 1935  C. May 7, 1940   D. October 2, 1941.

15. When was President John F. Kennedy assassinated? A. September 3, 1960   B. November 1, 1961  C. November 20, 1962   D. November 22, 1963.

16. The 19^th Amendment to the Constitution was passed, giving women the right to vote: A. August 1, 1799  B. September 6, 1829  C. August 26, 1920  D. August 4, 1962.

17. When was the zipper patented? A. April 29, 1913   B. May 1, 1915  C. June 4, 1919    D. July 4, 1920.

18. Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, was born on this date: A. February 22, 1927   B. January 8, 1930  C. January 8, 1935   D. January 10, 1938.

19. KDKA in Pittsburgh, the first commercially licensed radio station, made its first broadcast on this date: November 2, 1920  B. July 4, 1922  C. August 7, 1924   D. September 5, 1925.

20. The first successful blood transfusion: A. July 4, 1776 B. August 6, 1802 C. September 1, 1890 D. March 27, 1914.

Answers: 1. C. 2. A. 3. D. 4. B. 5.D. 6. B. 7. A. 8. C. 9. A. 10. C. 11. D. 12. D. 13. C. 14. A. 15. D. 16. C. 17. A. 18. C. 19. A 20.D.

Things to Think About

• You know you're old when your body makes the same sounds as your coffee pot.

• Has anyone ever lived long enough to need a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

• Note to self: Do not kneel in the garden without having a plan on how to get up.

• Purralysis: A state in which a person becomes physically incapable of moving because a cat has settled on their lap.

• The sound of many children in the church is far better than the silence of having no children there.

• You come from dust; you will return to dust. That's why I don't dust the house. It could be someone I knew.

• Someone has been stealing wheels from police cars. The police are working tirelessly to catch them.

• My silence does not necessarily mean I agree with you. It could mean your level of stupidity rendered me speechless.

• People say, “Act like an adult,” but if you watch the news, that seems to be terrible advice.

• I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I've missed my exit.

• When I was young, I was poor, but after years of hard work, I'm no longer young.

• I just found out the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer.

• “Lazy” is such an ugly word. I prefer the term “selective participation.”

• A sign of old age: You take pictures of directions so they can be enlarged.

• You don't know how old you are until you sit on the ground and then try to get up.

• Cats knock stuff off tables because they're studying gravity. They're not jerks; they're scientists.

• I got in thirty minutes of a cardio workout by trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

• Before we work on artificial intelligence, why don't we do something about natural stupidity?

• They say when you retire, you'll travel more. What they don't tell you is that it's to doctors' appointments.

• You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they're placed around your neck, she's probably upset with you.

• Tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now! Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills. Enjoy yourselves while you still know everything!

• Rule # 1: My wife is always right. Rule number 2: Whenever she is wrong, refer to rule 1.

• As the great Porky Pig says, “That's all, folks!”

Making Female Robots

* I have used female stereotypes that have been depicted on the Internet. Of course, in real life, stereotypes do not align with the majority of people in any particular group, but they do make (hopefully) for a humorous blog.

Yesterday I visited the lab of Dr. Eugene Postlewait. He and his scientists are hard at work developing both male and female robots. Being professionals, they try to program the robots so they will react in ways similar to actual human beings.

“Dr. Postlewait, I see you are working on a female prototype.”

“Yes. Right now we're inserting oil pouches inside each cheek.”

“Why?”

“If you had ever attended one of my wife's card parties, you wouldn't ask. All four of the ladies have the ability to talk at the same time, but still they understand each other. On the other hand, all our male robots say are 'Yes, dear,' 'I'm sorry,' 'Would you like to be romantic?' and 'What's for supper?'”

“So, you program the female robots differently from how you program the men?”

“Oh yes. For instance, the male model is programmed to forget whatever his wife has said or done in about the time it takes to play a quarter of football. The female robot, on the other hand, will remember a tiny mistake the male robot made some thirty or forty years ago, and she will often bring it up.”

“Why are you making some of the female models look older?”

“Those are our mother-in-law models. Just the threat of moving one of these into the house gets the male robot to agree to just about anything.”

“Have you programmed the mother-in-law robot to say any specific things?”

“Of course. Listen to this: “I told you to marry that dentist instead of this bum! It's not too late to get a divorce, you know. At least your little boy takes after our side of the family. Your husband drinks too much beer and watches too much football. Since I'm moving in, I should get the master bedroom, and all lights should be out by 9 p. m.”

“Now what are you doing, sir?”

“We are programming this female robot to watch TV shows that will drive the male up a wall, like The Love Boat, The Brady Bunch, and Hallmark movies.”

“What is the little button for on her neck?”

“The female robot will push this whenever she wants to give her male counterpart the silent treatment. Women believe men should KNOW what they are thinking without having to explain it in so many words.”

“What is that device she is wearing in a holster?”

“That's a ray-gun for blasting the male if he is ever stupid enough to say she is being too emotional and therefore should calm down.”

“Do the robots have names?”

“Of course. This model is named 'Miss Right.' Only after he marries her does the male realize her first name is 'Always.'”

Male Robots are Hard to Make

It's hard to believe, but our planet is turning into the futuristic world of the Jetsons. Robots, flying cars, and artificial intelligence are going to change our lives forever.

Somewhere, I believe it is in Japan, a restaurant features robot servers! What do you leave for a tip, a can of oil or a battery?

Some “experts” predict that soon one may be able to purchase a robot that can serve as one's best friend or even as a spouse. I saw where a lady married her dog, so marrying a robot is not that far-fetched.

Recently, I visited the workshop of Professor Eugene Postlewait. Using the latest technology, Dr. Postlewait and his staff are developing life-like male and female robots.

“Which kind of robot is more difficult to produce?” I asked the good doctor.

“The female version is a piece of cake by comparison,” Professor Postlewait replied.

“Is that because men are more complicated?”

“No, it's simply because some of men's typical actions are difficult to duplicate.”

“Could you explain, sir?”

“Well, for instance, we've found that after ingesting several beers, the male robot's electrical system short-circuits.”

“I see.”

“We've also had trouble getting the male robots to overreact when they are given simulated colds. To be like real men, they have to act like they are at death's door. In addition, we have learned not to install the responsibility codes in the men that we use in the females. Remember, we want both the females and the males to be the real McCoy, so to speak.”

“Sir, I don't understand.”

“Well, most men are slobs, so we are working hard to make our male robots act in the same manner. For example, to be authentic, the guy robots must leave their clothes and towels lying on the floor, as well as their empty beer bottles.”

“Have you had any other problems?”

“As you know, most men love sports, so we are trying to develop our male robots to do the same. Sadly, however, after watching three sporting events in a row, the male robots' circuits explode. We wonder why the same thing doesn't happen to real guys. We have, by the way, had success in one area.”

“What's that?”

“Our deluxe male model is a whiz at telling Dad jokes, like this one:” If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.” Or: “Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.” But hearing these jokes leads to problems with our female units.

“After about five jokes, the female robot jumps out the nearest window or smashes its head into a wall. By the way, we've discovered that the male electronic brain lasts up to seven times longer than the female one.”

“Is that because, like real men, male robots are smarter?”

“No, it's because, like its human counterpart, the male robot hardly ever uses its brain, so it remains relatively new.”