It's hard to believe, but our planet is turning into the futuristic world of the Jetsons. Robots, flying cars, and artificial intelligence are going to change our lives forever.
Somewhere, I believe it is in Japan, a restaurant features robot servers! What do you leave for a tip, a can of oil or a battery?
Some “experts” predict that soon one may be able to purchase a robot that can serve as one's best friend or even as a spouse. I saw where a lady married her dog, so marrying a robot is not that far-fetched.
Recently, I visited the workshop of Professor Eugene Postlewait. Using the latest technology, Dr. Postlewait and his staff are developing life-like male and female robots.
“Which kind of robot is more difficult to produce?” I asked the good doctor.
“The female version is a piece of cake by comparison,” Professor Postlewait replied.
“Is that because men are more complicated?”
“No, it's simply because some of men's typical actions are difficult to duplicate.”
“Could you explain, sir?”
“Well, for instance, we've found that after ingesting several beers, the male robot's electrical system short-circuits.”
“I see.”
“We've also had trouble getting the male robots to overreact when they are given simulated colds. To be like real men, they have to act like they are at death's door. In addition, we have learned not to install the responsibility codes in the men that we use in the females. Remember, we want both the females and the males to be the real McCoy, so to speak.”
“Sir, I don't understand.”
“Well, most men are slobs, so we are working hard to make our male robots act in the same manner. For example, to be authentic, the guy robots must leave their clothes and towels lying on the floor, as well as their empty beer bottles.”
“Have you had any other problems?”
“As you know, most men love sports, so we are trying to develop our male robots to do the same. Sadly, however, after watching three sporting events in a row, the male robots' circuits explode. We wonder why the same thing doesn't happen to real guys. We have, by the way, had success in one area.”
“What's that?”
“Our deluxe male model is a whiz at telling Dad jokes, like this one:” If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.” Or: “Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.” But hearing these jokes leads to problems with our female units.
“After about five jokes, the female robot jumps out the nearest window or smashes its head into a wall. By the way, we've discovered that the male electronic brain lasts up to seven times longer than the female one.”
“Is that because, like real men, male robots are smarter?”
“No, it's because, like its human counterpart, the male robot hardly ever uses its brain, so it remains relatively new.”
