From a kid's point of view, Halloween was a lot of fun. It was a time to collect free candy and watch scary, if sometimes silly, movies. The season was topped only by Christmas, with its presents and, more importantly, its time off from school.
Although we had only four available channels, during the Halloween season a kid could watch movies featuring vampires, mummies, werewolves, witches, and other assorted monsters. On several occasions, I'd watch such scary shows at a friend's house. Later, walking home in the dark was an adventure. One could easily imagine Dracula stepping out of the nearby woods. Sometimes my friend and I would order a pizza to quench our appetites. I could just imagine what a vampire would desire for a late-night snack.
A dog howling in the distance was easily imagined to be a werewolf who was stalking me. Frankenstein's monster was less scary simply because he was uncoordinated and couldn't run well. Back in those days, I could run fast, especially when I was scared out of my wits.
It's interesting how two brothers in the same family can turn out so differently. As most of us know, Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a literal monster. Of course, my sisters thought I was a monster, too, so I guess such things are relative.
I have a friend who claims that vampires actually exist. He also believes in Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and ghosts.
I have yet to see a real vampire. I suppose vampires are not invited to parties because they're a pain in the neck, or perhaps they think such parties suck, or in their case, don't suck.
Trick-or-Treat was always fun. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed it so much that my last time participating was in seventh grade. Evidently my costume was convincing; I went as a girl and twice was asked for a date! Of course, my legs were not so hairy back in those days. Ironically, many years later I learned that my wife's last trick-or-treat outing was when she was in the seventh grade, and she dressed as a boy. I guess we were simply made for each other.
These days I enjoy passing out goodies to the neighborhood kids. Several of them have complimented me on my scary mask. I didn't have the heart to tell them I wasn't wearing one! Fortunately, there are advantages in not resembling Robert Redford. During Halloween, I never had to buy a mask. Instead, I could use my money to purchase candy, soda pop, and comic books. The kids in the neighborhood often played spin-the-bottle. If a girl's bottle faced a young man, she either had to kiss him or give him a quarter. By the age of 14, I owned my own home and automobile.
During a recent trick-or-treat session, a little boy, after getting his candy, told me I looked just like Frankenstein's monster. Thankfully, his mother came to my rescue: “Billy, you can tell he's not the monster; Frankenstein had a bolt in his neck!”
A little girl, after getting her treat, said that my wife and I look like the Beauty and the Beast. “How dare she,” I said to my better half. “She has no right to call you a beast!”
Knowing that I love Halloween, recently my wife gave me a sheet of paper containing twelve pictures of women who had played witches in the movies. I thanked her for this, but asked for an identification of each lady. “Dear,” I stated, “if you don't label these, how will I know which witch is which?” I thought it was a legitimate question.
This year, while passing out candy, I quizzed my wife. “Dear, why don't ghosts like rain?”
“I don't know, and I don't care,” she sarcastically replied.
“It's because the rain dampens their spirits.”
“What is a ghost's favorite fruit? It's Boo-berries.”
She then went into the house and turned off the lights, leaving me sitting in the darkened driveway. Sadly, my better half was never into the Halloween season like I am.
