Fighting over Girls?

 Fighting over Girls?

During the elementary school years, my buddies and I had little to do with girls. To us boys, they were simply strange creatures who, for the most part, didn't care for the important things in life, such as football, basketball, baseball, and frogs. I remember girls were so strange that during first grade, they were not allowed to wear blue jeans or any other kind of pants to school. That rule was rescinded at the beginning of second grade, but as Beaver Cleaver might have said, girls were still “creeps.”

By the time we entered the seventh grade, after we had left elementary school for junior high, our perspective began to change. Indeed, the more popular and confident boys began “going steady” with some of the more confident females. Of course, the average length of a couple going steady was about two to three weeks, but it was the beginning of a natural attraction. On the other hand, being shy and lacking confidence, I was still scared to death of them.

One weekend, my friend and I planned to go to the local high school basketball game. Since we were junior high kids, my friend's older brother offered to play chauffeur.

A couple of hours before pickup time, my friend telephoned, stating that he now had a date for the game. “That's okay,” I murmured. “I'll just stay home and watch Lawrence Welk with the folks.” That, of course, would have been about as exciting as pulling lint from my belly button. But alas, he also had a date for me, a gal who just happened to be the prettiest and most popular female in our school. Talk about being out of one's league!

Soon, my friend, his date, and his brother arrived. During the ride to the game, my friend, whom I'll call “Sam” to protect the guilty, held hands with his date. When my date was picked up, I nervously rambled on about the Browns. No doubt she was thrilled to be set up with such a great conversationalist!

During the game, I talked more nonsense. On the way home, Sam, ever the lover-boy, kissed his date. On my part, there was a greater chance of my hitch-hiking to the moon than summoning up enough courage to move my lips within two feet of her angelical face.

When we arrived at the home of Sam's date, he walked her to the porch and gave her a goodnight kiss. A few minutes later, we were at my date's house. She got out of the car, waiting for me to do the same. Instead, seemingly cemented to the car seat, I said nothing and did nothing as she politely said, “Thank you for a wonderful night.” Well, it was probably a night she has never forgotten, although I sincerely hope she has.

As I have previously stated, during the junior high years, several of the guys and gals “went steady,” which meant you wore the other person's ring and promised not to date anyone else. Sometimes, however, two guys went after the same young lady. Often, this problem would be solved by a fight. During the school day, word spread that after school, Boy A and Boy B were meeting behind the nearby laundromat. As a large crowd gathered, the two young men began savagely punching each other to determine who was to become the legitimate boyfriend.

Evidently, there was some unwritten law that the girl HAD to accept the winner. Maybe that's how it worked in the caveman days, but in modern times, this seems ridiculous. Did young gals prefer the stronger brutes?

With only one exception, the combatants in these battles were boys. However, one day, immediately after school, two girls went at it on the front lawn of the school. Soon, a huge crowd formed to see the action. Some members of the audience actually were encouraging them to destroy one another.

Unlike the boys, there was little in the way of actual punching. Instead, the ladies scratched and hit each other when they were not ripping the opponent's clothing. Unfortunately for the excited crowd, the fight came to a sudden halt when several teachers came out and escorted the ladies to the office.

Believe it or not, back in those days, the girls often fought over me. They'd slug it out for hours until one reluctantly gave in. In my case, however, the loser had to take me. Maybe that's why they fought almost to the death.