Creatures of Habit

 Creatures of Habit

We human beings tend to develop and live by routines. It's an effort to bring some predictability and order to our otherwise chaotic lives. The experts tell us change is good, but it should be slow and purposeful. For decades workers have been resisting “runaway change” mandated by management, which leads to stress, burnout, and extra, meaningless work. Perhaps employees cannot slow down change in the workplace, but they can still do so in other areas of their lives.

One sat on the same chair in my parents' home whenever a meal was served. Moreover, there were strict rules about sitting in the living room. If you really wanted to get into big-time trouble, all you had to do was park yourself in Dad's chair. You might have been better off swiping Queen Elizabeth's throne.

Since we sat in the front, it's scary to think we had no seat belts in the family automobile, especially for Dad, Mom, and me. Dad was behind the wheel, Mom took the “shotgun” position, and I was sandwiched between them. In the backseat, my brother was behind Dad, while the older of two sisters sat behind Mom. My other sister had the honor (?) of sitting behind me.

In school, we each had an assigned seat, which was fine if good-looking gals were seated nearby, but not so good if bullies were there to cause trouble. Having assigned seats worked well in Latin class. The teacher would always start the translations at the beginning of one row, work to the end, and then go from back to front in the adjoining row. This predictability made it fairly easy to pass one homework sheet from student to student.

A few years ago I read that some workers “turned in” a fellow employee because in the cafeteria he ate his dessert before consuming the rest of his lunch! How dare he commit such a dastardly deed! For his fellow workers, this may very well be a case of enforcing a routine much too far.

My wife is guilty of a procedure that could destroy civilization as we know it. She dares to put on a sock and then a shoe before donning the other sock. I'm certain the great John Wayne did it the right way-sock, sock, shoe, and shoe. What is this world coming to?

Our church seats do not have nameplates, but we act as if they do. Each regular member has selected his or her own personal area to park while worshiping the Lord. No doubt God gets a good chuckle out of this. Occasionally, to get us to know each other better, our minister requests that we leave our sacred and God-given seats. We comply, but the next Sunday all of us are back where we belong. The way I look at it, if God had not wanted us to pick out our own seats He would have added an Eleventh Commandment to deal with the problem.

One of the first rules I learned in our marriage is to not occupy my honey's side of the bed. She explained that for some unknown reason, she can doze off only on one side. Which side? When facing the bed at its foot, the left side is her domain. I learned the hard way not to enter that territory.

Early in our marriage, while on vacation, after a busy day of sightseeing, we checked into a hotel. My wife decided to shower before hitting the hay, so without thinking, I put on my pajamas and quickly fell into a deep sleep on her side of the bed!

Upon discovering this crime of the century, she shook me while verbally commanding me to move. Unfortunately, I was so dead to the world that I did not respond. In desperation, she began rolling me out of her territory, but she did the job too well, rolling me onto the floor. Lord, I promise never again to sleep on her side of the bed! Please forgive me!

During my early years, I had a habit my folks tried to change, but to no avail. By definition, the part of the hot dog upon which I began eating was the head. Therefore, logically, the other end was the hot dog's butt. Perhaps this habit saved my life; eating back-ends cannot be healthy. It's bad enough in life when we have to kiss backsides, let alone consume them.