Mother-in-Law Jokes

 

• Mother-in-law stereotypes are not fair to the vast majority of women who hold that position. However, keeping that in mind, mother-in-law jokes are funny.

• “Just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.” Henny Youngman.

• “It's not that we didn't get along; it's just that my mother-in-law is very objective. She objected to everything I did.” Beverly D'Angelo.

• “I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.” Ken Dodd.

• “Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.” Mark Twain.

• “Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat, she puts paper under the cuckoo.” Henny Youngman.

• “My mother-in-law has come (a)round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.” Les Dawson.

• “I told my mother-in-law, 'My house is your house.' So she sold it.” Henny Youngman.

• “The mother of a trophy wife is not automatically a trophy mother-in-law.” John Grisham.

• “I wanted to do something nice, so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.” Henny Youngman.

• “Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.” Hubert H. Humphrey.

• “My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.” Les Dawson.

• “We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day, and out of the blue she said,'I've decided I want to be cremated.' I said, 'Alright, get your coat.'” Dave Spikey.

• “Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.” Josh Billings.

• “The only thing more intimidating than a huge international film star is your mother-in-law.” Benjamin Walker.

• “They (mothers-in-law) never leave when they say they will. When my mother-in-law visits, the mice throw themselves at the cat, begging to be eaten.” Lisa Kleypas.

• “I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law, but quite honestly, she's only got one major fault-it's called breathing.” Les Dawson.

• “A car is like a mother-in-law; if you let it, it will rule your life.” Jaime Lerner.

• “I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving, sir; we're stock -taking.'” Les Dawson.

• “My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.” John Barrymore.

• “Scrum is like your mother-in-law; it points out all your faults.” Ken Schwaber.